Gay pirates cosmo jarvis
Singer, songwriter, and filmmaker Cosmo Jarvis has earned a devoted monitoring for his witty, often satiric tunes about the foibles of relationships and contemporary life, often rooted in personal experience, as well as his own self-produced videos and short subjects that have given his work a global online audience. Harrison Cosmo Krikoryan Jarvis was born on September 1, in Ridgewood, Recent Jersey. Jarvis' family relocated to the United Kingdom when he was young, and he grew up in Devon in Southwest England. Jarvis began writing songs when he was only 12 years old, around the matching time he began making concise films using a VHS video camera. While Jarvis' early videos were little more than documentation of pranks played with his friends, with time he began constructing more complex narratives, and similarly his songs began to evolve, ranging from folk-inspired acoustic guitar pieces and elaborate pop tunes to tongue-in-cheek hip-hop tracks. At the age of 16, Jarvis quit school to concentrate on his creative work, and in he wrote and produced his debut album, an lyric set called Humasyouhitch
Behind the Video: Cosmo Jarvis' Gay Pirates
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Well the video initially began with a concept of mine that revolved around existence on a boat. A big ass square rigger. Now I had written a treatment for an extremely serious, very uncooked and literal visual presentation of events and characters in my song. The video was to be brutal in educating the audience of what really went down on that pirate ship. Not a single gimmick or anything ever able to be classified by anybody with an opinion on gimmicks to be a gimmick, was to be allowed anywhere near this piece of drama telling the story of two homosexual pirates bound together by fear of the homophobic captain. I wanted all the events I described in the song to be there: the pirates sticking glass in the soles of the persecuted pirates' sandals and forcing him to wear them by threatening violence against his true love, the fact that they are only truly at accord with each other as the
Standard (EADGBE)
Verse 1
This rain is too salty
For me to even drink
I'd rather saunter the dreaded plank
Than stay another week
But it's you, my love
You're my territory, ahoy!
And I'm sick of being beaten
And whipped and lashed to death
I wish one night with no gang rape
But I won't grip my breath
But it's you, my love
You're my land, ahoy!
And you're my boy
Chorus
Yo ho, Sebastian!
Let's leave far away
Somewhere where the captain won't be mad
Yo ho, Sebastian!
I wanna affection you good
And we deserve much greater than we've had
Verse 2
They say they're gonna kill me
If I look at you once more
They spinned my hammock yesterday
So I'll slumber on the floor
I'd be under the sea
But you grip me above
And they put glass in my sandals
So my feet would bleed all day
And they forced me to wear them
Or they said they'd create you pay
I'd be under the sea
But you hold me above
You're the gentleman I love!
Chorus
Yo ho, Sebastian!
Let's go far away
Somewhere where the captain won't be mad
Yo ho, Sebastian!
I wanna love you good
And we earn much better than we've ha
The Problem with Gay Pirates
The major issues with the song “Gay Pirates” by Cosmo Jarvis are twofold, somewhat intertwined, and as follows:
1. gratuitous torture porn, and
2. historical inaccuracy.
A quick look at the lyrics shows us this song really, REALLY wants to tell us all about every single horrible thing Cosmo Jarvis thinks a gay pirate would go through. Not even twenty seconds into the song itself, we are explicitly informed that at least one of the gay pirates is gang-raped every single night by the rest of the crew. You’d think that’d be enough torture for one homosexual love ballad, but wait, there’s more!
They are given saltwater to drink (which is essentially a death sentence); thrashed, whipped, AND lashed (again, you’d think just one flogging with a cat-o’-nine-tails would do the trick, but no); and forced to walk in glass-filled sandals, which sounds appreciate a great way to sever a tendon and be rendered permanently lame, if not hit an artery and bleed the fuck out.
Add all that together, and “Gay Pirates” starts to look a bit like Saw at sea. It’s not