Divorce gay
Cansu fought hard for the right to marry her wife. The response to their divorce was harsh
Cansu Col fought hard for marriage equality.
She attended protests and threw energy behind "actively supporting" the campaign, right up until same-sex marriage became legal in December
In she married another woman but in they divorced.
She describes herself as 'the' queer Turkish migrant in Sydney people seek advice from.
But she said when she desperately needed help and advice, it was firm to find and from some corners of the Turkish collective she received the opposite.
"I got bullied," she told the Feed.
"They were negative when I got married and then they were more negative when I got divorced.
"Being Turkish, coming from a Muslim society, it's not really acceptable to get married with a woman."
After her divorce, people questioned her identity and asked her if she would wed a man.
"They were saying, 'you got what you wanted, so what do you want?'"
They challenged her on why she fought
Same-sex marriage has been legally recognised in the UK since July Before this, same-sex couples could enter into a civil partnership rather than a marriage.
Whilst a relatively recent occurrence in comparison to heterosexual divorcing couples, the process is identical for both. For civil partners, rather than going through divorce proceedings, the couple ‘dissolves’ their civil partnership through dissolution proceedings. This is the same process as divorce, with a different name.
Some same-sex couples will have chosen to convert their civil partnership to a marriage. For these couples, the divorce process is the same, but they will require both certificates when making an application for divorce.
The legal process of divorce for same-sex couples:
The legal process for divorce and dissolution is made up of three steps, with an extra step for those wishing to untangle their finances and distribute any money and property.
The legal steps for divorce/ dissolution are:
- Divorce application
- Conditional order
- Financial remedy order (a consent order if you agree) optional
Divorce professionals see many issues that cause divorce. Study about the most shared causes here.
Many years ago, I worked with a family that was going through a painful divorce after the husband admitted that he had been unfaithful and was homosexual. After the divorce, he contracted AIDS. He felt deep shame at having exposed his wife. He felt he’d betrayed himself and his family.
He had been secretly seeing a lover for several years. His wife was pain, upset, and worried about her health, but she also loved her husband. Finally, remarkably, her husband and his partner moved back into the family home. She nursed them both through their illnesses until their deaths.
Understanding What Happens When a Spouse Comes Out as Queer or Trans
Every divorce is complex. It can be further complicated when one spouse comes out, which affects each member of the family differently.
Coming out may feel liberating to one spouse, while the other may be blindsided or feel betrayed.
Source: Budgeron Bach/Pexels
The Spouse Coming Out
Coming out can bring a sense of relief and authenticity. Often
I get many, many emails from women who attain out because of the intense pain they are feeling when their husband leaves them for another woman. Among other emotions of divorce, they inform me they are in shock, devastated, angry, scared, resentful, bitter, and beyond sad and upset. They are feeling very alone, their life shattered, and left to think about their husband in a new, blissful relationship. But what happens when the ex leaves not for another woman, but for another man? This is the case with a woman who told me, &#;My husband is lgbtq+ and is leaving me.&#;
Her situation really made me stop and think. I wondered if she was feeling the same emotions these other women touch. Are the feelings of hurt, betrayal, hopelessness, phobia, anger, bitterness, devastation, and sadness the same? Yes and no? Are they similar but different?
In talking with her, she said that like any female whose husband leaves (for whatever reason) it turned her life upside down. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do, she was scared, felt alone, abandoned, and hurt. She also said she felt like she mayb